two and everything

he makes me fake a cough and
look away
mess up my hair, fix it - repeat;
it's an addictive indulgence, this
annoying habit of embarassed insecurity
and
overwhelmed heartbeats
as i relish in ways he can
send colossal currents flooding through 
my selfless body with just one slight touch
upon my skin

i am his mannequin, his play toy
; willing, though.

he whispers meaningless words but i melt
under his voice
& i could scratch a million blackboards,
deaf to it all as his breath still lingers.
beautifulbeautifulsounds

i don't dare to question the 
credibility of this being love or
anything more or less
so i wait, ready to be
shown precisely what my heart is
fooling me around with.

& when he sings lullabies to me,
ooh.

I don't know how he feels to have
my pupils locked and readjusted on him,
therefore - 
i wear my darkest shades to
hide the way i love his eyes on me
- my eyelashes a little too long to
hide what i don't intend to show

purposeful pauses to his questions
              to prolong the moments when he
follows the movements of my lips;
i am hopeless; a sybarite of 
                 his non-existent affections

with his hand on my head as i lay on
his lap...
this feeling will last - right?