the most i have ever felt

I think about the many things that occur
and make a difference
in a second or
a blink of an eye.
I think about the emotions one can feel
or lose entirely
in a minute,
in a lifetime - in a moment.
I also think about you
and the way your eyes surprise me,
the way they capture
my innermost joy and
shade my fears.
I think about me and the way 
I fell in love with you,
with your flaws and your strengths,
because love doesn't come wrapped in ribbons,
but it delivers nonetheless.
I think about the nights
when the sky is dry because our eyes are
drenched with sorrow,
but with rain there will always
come sun -
however long it takes.

There lives a girl
in the depths of my heart
with a broken window,
dancing patterns on my skin tissues
for she is now found and

I think about her
and the pain she can now learn to forget.

I think about the change you bring to my life.

I think about my world now
colourful and ever-growing.

I think about you and the way you
smile when you feel my touch 
on your skin
on your soul.
I think about me
living the rest of my life with you
feeling the way I feel, for evermore
and I smile, too.

after the longest time of self-repair.

life can sometimes be like sunlight through tinted glass,
tamed and made to look easy to handle
until the full scorch when you turn its direction.

but once you capture the blinding truth once,
you'll never shake off the worry of looking back unintentionally
turning the world around you black with the intensity of
repeating the same mistakes.

there are days with you when my eyes are burnt
and i live in shadows.
i will sit and shake my mind and
constantly remind myself that i should never be afraid
of the fire inside me
because my independence to stand my ground
is not a flaw
no matter how sometimes it feels like it is
with you,
and i am better than waiting for your reassurance to tell me i am worth more than i sometimes feel.

i need to embrace that sometimes
i am not what you need
and it's what i do that you seek from me
but it's alright if i cannot give you everything
because i try.

i need to stop momentary fury
from making me reach out to you to fix us
when you need me to
dim the shine to fix yourself.

and i try to pave easier paths for you, for us,
every other day,
but the cracks on the ground are getting wider
with the thought that you cannot see the struggle within me
because of your own struggles
but i will cherish that you are more important
than my own imperfections so
i need to stop momentary impulse washing over the realm of peace i build for us because in there lies no place for my pain anymore.