To You, Dad

Dad, this isn't the usual confession,
Of sorry states and tears,
This isn't about how you've brought me up wrong,
Or have managed to stop my fears,
I know it may not seem the time,
to lay it all out before your eyes,
Now just before you die,
Now just before you die.

I would like to say I'm thankful for,
Every punch,
Every shout,
Every little disagree.

With those, I've gained my courage,
With those, I've gained my pride,
I know how to stand up straight,
And say no to those,
That kill what you are inside,
Your hurting words,
I must say,
Are speeches I now admire,
And your curses, your tantrum,
I have figured out,
You only give to those you love.

Dad, I once hated you,
I admit it,
And I'm sorry for that mistake,
The day you humiliated me,
Was also the day,
You saved me from my friends,
Dad, Johnny's now in prison,
And Christopher is dead,
You were right,
You gave me back my life,
And all I could give you was hate.

I couldn't see what I was doing wrong,
I only knew I was never right,
No matter how I tried,
How I tried,
I was imperfect in your eyes,
You threw glances,
Insults,
No appreciation,
But you were just keeping it inside,
Keeping it inside,
Waiting for me to realize...

You're real proud of me, dad.

The discipline I took for pain,
I thank you for everything,
Dad, it's time you heard this,
I want you to hear it,
Now just before you die,
Now just before you die.

I'm proud to have a father,
Who blended love in fists,
You never told me you loved me,
But I know from the scar above my lip,
You never tucked me in,
But that's okay,
Pampering was never your thing,
I would never be as strong as I am,
If you fed me everyday,
So yes, I guess I love you,
More than I can ever say.

Dad, I guess I'm gonna miss you,
More than I can ever say.