the rise of your horizon

and the way you
touch me with your glance
and understand me with
your smile
because you catch every breath
and every whisper i
drop into your soul.

and the way we held onto each other
and left secrets on the
soft of our skin and
i caught the hurt and disbelief
in the damp of your eyes
when you held my pain and all its weight
in the palm of your hands
before i took it back
because it is never yours to bear.

and the way i stared galaxies deep
into the center of you
as you plucked out my insecurities
and showed me it is never wrong
to dare to believe it
when you tell me i am beautiful
as you kiss my tears of
indescribable joy

and the way in that one moment
as we capture the still
of our thoughts
and share a smile -
i transmit a million emotions to you
knowing you can hear them and feel
what i feel.

the line was drawn

these are the nights i can never escape from
when the memories
revisit, looming like
they shade my thoughts and
shake my euphoria,

i rip apart
within seconds
and the wounds reopen
profound and jagged like
naked branches against
a pearly white sky
surfacing from beneath my skin
to the edges of my mind -

the warmth disappears
as i spiral downwards
through my claustrophobic timewarp
taking me to the familiar places
i have tried to bury under my hindsight.

there will always be
inside me
a coldness i can never set fire to

because where there is light,
there will always,
be shadows at my feet.

fused currents

there are blades that slit
into the fracturing blinds of my gut
and bleed a million cells of
blackening flashbacks;
sick, rotting insecurities;
decaying self belief
and fear.
i try to place sections of my mind
in shades of luminous dormancy
yet there are days where all is dark;
the trigger pulls upon the thoughts
that hold the weight of a should-be-forgotten ache.
wretched as it tears and
stretches and stretches and stretches and stretches
stretching until i am nothing but a 
gaping hole,
breathless and bare.
these are the days i refuse to
react with the world
because i revisit
a weaker self
with eyes of the soulless,
these are the days i need to never 
thrust upon you.
because you show me the colours of
so much more
within the black hues of my shading.
i will try to be the strength in my battles
because i am tired of losing to emotions like these.

i can hear them flutter

i sit and light my cigarette
losing count of how many times i have
left and returned
to this poem because
nothing can quite explain to me
the way our silences
accentuate our emotions
and we drift without a sound
in timeless passing
as we share a thought
and understand.

it is one of those easy nights
strewn across the sheets
and musky air of our linger
as we talk about nothings
and everythings while you roll
cigarettes on the curve of my thigh
and we giggle through our inside jokes
about stomach aliens and invisible puppy tails
and we don't find the urge
to say the words
because they are written in
every breath
every moment we look into each other
and share a knowing smile
until everything stands still
as we lose ourselves from venturing deep
into your soul
my soul
souls that prance their way
into the atmosphere until they
and meet in the spaces between our skin

i could be
in a million beautiful places
i could be the foreigner
braving the throngs of wilderness
but i no longer find the need
to run with the nightmares
and seek through the estranged
because i have found home
and with it all of me,
right here in the simplest of places

in the shine of your eyes.