Kid

i watch him everyday
him, who sits amongst but
looks alone
nibbling his lip piercing 
and
playing with his fingers

and he has
a stash in his pockets
with a lighter in his hand
as he closes his eyes
to refrain from his thinking

bong.
the sound of school bells, or
a smoky escape to another place
where
he can't feel his pain

he never fails to 
smile
and crack a joke
while he wears a long sleeved shirt
to
cover the hurt

and i look into him best
when he is laughing
because the shield of happiness
that secures a person from -
-is never there

so he lights up one
and
inhales the euphoria
life can't give him

it's sad to watch him
realize deep inside that
he fears himself more than 
other people do
but can't love himself anymore
than a stranger could
because
every time i glance into his eyes
i capture
a little boy
living in his heart
reaching out to be
held