breathing difficulties

suffocation like a thousand hurricanes
destroying my mind and sending foiled messages
my senses are incomplete
perturbed for i am nothing but
tiny pieces of debris after an earthquake

i screech and screech until my lungs are sore
but nobody listens
for i am stuck beneath an 
invisible pillow
and everything just bounces back to me
killing

it hits straight to the middle
just a little bit to the left where
the ugly thing beats with no purpose
and i wonder everyfuckingtime
what the hell is worth it

i feel the stares before i see them
for they are beneath surface
peeping beneath skin
they judge before they know me

like a thousand burning sunsets
pushing onto my back 
i cannot breathe for there is too much spilling out of me
and to them
not a word makes sense

never again will wind sound like music
for i hear empty howls 
like mine and it's not beautiful

for i am suffocating on things not worth my time

and i just want to drop past my cloud of mistakes 
until i am
freefalling through the empty spaces
of a new start i will never get.