her day.

today, i miss you
not for your significance worth celebrating
but the outcome of today filled with
where you are hiding in the dark
and i cannot reach you.

i did not reach you,
and though there is a deliberate motif 
in this new reluctance,
i refuse to feel guilty anymore
for being too exhausted to try
because no guilt or regret
can make the dim light surrounding you
shine any brighter.

but it does not stop the sadness from washing in.

it is a reality i have to learn
to come to terms with;
this light that surrounds you
is not ours to hold 
for we have long been cast from it,
and no matter how brightly
it shines on certain days of the week,
you will always find a way to 
hide yourself within its shadows
but i cannot walk you into the dark of it any longer.

today, i miss you,
and it is a reality i have to learn
to face,
where we do not live in parallel spaces anymore
so i have to learn to appreciate you more
you in your past, your pained present and whoever you may become.

today, i miss you,
and this will be a new permanence,
but i will forever hold this eternal bond with you
on a mindful pedestal
for though you are slowly
becoming one with the dark,
i will shine my brightest light strong and glorious,
forever in your honor.

in eternal embrace

this dent is the result.

it is the effect from endless churning and
unmindful chaos in dark spaces of my choices.
it whispers to me the weight of the thoughts i aimed so 
carelessly towards a particular point 
in the core of my being,
now shaped to carry and sag;
it whispered so painfully i stopped
and finally listened.

the dent is the result of my self-betrayal
and urges me to push it 
and release.


there are many ways
to conquer fearlessly,
and bring up a shield against
the waning days that loom over
and taunt; to conquer until their
contours eventually bow to your heavy demise
and let you flourish towards self-healing
in your own time.

courage is beautiful when it rests in the curve of your palm
and the shine of your eyes,
for the world will begin to grow under a brighter light.

i have learnt to understand the fine line
between the merge of everything and nothing,
to choose which side of the line
to ground myself.

i see the world in its entirety.

i caress the skin of each energy that surrounds me,
like a lover, like family, like a friend;
recognising the smooth marble textures of the dim and low that
makes me shiver, to the velvet warmth that glow and
fill me with gracious, all-encompassing joy.

i learn to be wakeful,
under the tired skies of a slumbering season,
embracing the patient, watchful steps i take
alongside time,
guarded at first, until i can find enough momentum
to hold its hand and run with it.

i believe in eternal life
and respect that i will not be able
to see the whole of it through my conscious being, 
in this skin i am wearing.

i let the rest remain a mystery
for the lives after mine to experience
what my innermost subconscious will carry on living
after my mind will have long
unlatched from my tangible state of being.

this is eternal,
but my body is not,
so i will nurture all i have
to grow to their full potential and learn to be wholesome;
to exist in the entirety of my life;
on the fine line between the merge of
everything and nothing
i choose to live with everything,
and exist amongst.

i kiss the light of love
thanking it for its presence
so constant,
in such ever-changing passages
and believe,
that there is a reason 
i have connected with threads i have learnt to tie eternal knots with,
the threads of life i have crossed over, entangled with, 
stretched on, laughed with, cried for,
felt intense emotions of both extremities towards…

what i own within my emotional depth,
is a gift,
so i cherish it dearly
and learn to use it to bring me light,
not shed darkness or
hurt to the subconscious path of my soul,
where all should be effervescent and 
passionately on fire.

for life should be effervescent and
passionately on fire.