the tip of my lip

there was a precious moment
in my life when i trusted
every string of words that
trailed from your lips;
i was intrigued and captivated
by you
because i was addicted to your voice

i laugh and i can pretend
it is all a joke
when they call me stupid
for having
believedeverythingyousaid

but there are no explanations to
the way i want to perish into
a million unwanted pieces
that your eyes miss and
nobody looks at

i can laugh and
stand beside their pity
when all i want to do
is run away and
break
break down

but i can't cry anymore

because i have realized everything
you made me
was a mere figment of your
make-believe
and my imaginations of
beautiful

they tell me to wake up
but i have long been awake
since before you
left me to peel open my skin
and shred out pain
and took away my breath
in ugly ways

i am awake and
wish i never lingered a second
into nightmares you suffocated me in

i am in pain
that is hard to feel but
i have long realized this is the way
it will be now

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