i want to meet an alien

i am happy
so happy like the bright yellow pages
and beautiful writing
i actually feel good about myself but
i am depressed
dirty depressed
like the yellow pages that
blind me under the sun
but i don't stop staring
and words that spill
words that spill secrets i do not want to tell
tell me
i am happy and
make me believe it
tell me
i am beautiful
like things that
steal our breaths away and
make us feel elated inside
but i am not
i am not

shut me out
shut me out
shut me out
shut me out

i keep building a world too small for me
and i keep falling off the edges
i keep falling

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