desperation is clawing

i want to sleep but the memories

haunt me

the seconds tick by like hours in a day

i want to break free from this plague

of suffocation

that keeps my mind

insane like asylum patients

i feel like i have no more hope

i am my own patient

i kid myself in believing i can make myself better

and paint mirages of myself

for others to reach out to

something i can't even reach

i kid myself in believing

i can be better

i want to be alive

i want to feel

i want to be free