no escape

you plead for me to meet your eyes but I can't

because I am trying to look strong

by keeping my pain away from you,

the one vulnerability left in me

and I couldn't let you crush

that, too,

I cannot look in

to your eyes because of your words

that stabbed me gutless and

I didn't want to believe they were real

I couldn't look in

to your eyes because I want the

moment the feelings 

this

to be fake fake fake

fucking fake

the way you walk away, the way you were so

ready

to shred my heart down

everything to the way you

asked me "can we even last

- like this?"

these moments that haunt my sleep and darken the skin 

beneath my eyes

how do i breath, please?