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and just when I dare to think
we are finally 
mellowing down to a silence that merely 
meant our hearts resurrecting,
you inject
the final poison; 
"are we even going to last?"

for the first time in my life sunsets
scared the daylights out of me
and all I could see was the
darkness ahead
all of it
all of it
black.

and I say we won't if you keep 
believing the negativity in your
thoughts to which you reply with
yet another length of silence
which I interrupt when
the repeated visions of you on
playback
come back to me
those scarring images of you
walking away from me
saying 'we are over' like as if they were
just words but
they are not, not
not just fucking words

thoughts of you putting a stop to my heartbeat
like as if what you held in your hand is
not alive
but just
an object
dead and replaceable like it is
not alive
like it is
disposable

but they are not
just fucking words
because words don't signify you 
throwing my life away

they are explanations to questions asked
about pieces of a dead heart splattered
across bedroom floors and roadsides
a heart that once belonged to me

because you threw me away

so shut up, please,
because I cannot breath.

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