my emotions are unreal
you never see me cry with a cigarette in hand
i always have a cigarette in hand.
controlled desire
controlled pain.
it is an agony that hits me like
nicotine rush.
pure.vibrant.cleansing.
many things meet my eye
from within me like catharsis
i am afraid of many things
the strong face i master is an ugly disguise
and afraid of many things
it is an agony that pulls me -
wakes me from the false visage
of life people dream about.
my dreams are the only reminders
that i am still human enough
but my emotions are unreal.
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