papercuts

I stare down at the papercuts
Across my fingers
Subtle, tiny, and barely visible
Insignificant slashes that are an odd
Crucial pain

They remind me of you and the moments
I clutch tight to your shirt
When you say you have to go
Because you agreed that we were no longer
“We”
You agreed with no one else, but
Yourself because somehow
I’ve hidden behind papercuts and
You can’t see me

I suck on one papercut until it
Reopens
Because I want to feel how it is to
Break something that was
Healing, healed, whole
Another was a rich red
Red
Ready to gush, so I let it
Gush

I wanted to be like you

But what I do only covers nothing
And I slowly trace my finger across
The thin sheet of paper
Where I see my blood tinted across the borders
Already turning brown
And unreal

I stare down at my papercuts
Like a new discovery, and suddenly
Hate myself because I am
Weak

I realize nothing will change what I feel
Because papercuts heal but

Hearts never will