and see what you find

I wake up today in a body

too big to fit,

and things adjust differently

to my sight now,

there are clothes that are no longer

familiar to taste

and the lines on my hand are glowing.

I wake up to a clock

spun 24 hours for what

feels like ten years

already, and I am drained;

my eyes are hidden from

nights of pain 

and one night running from it.

I wake up today and am I

who I was before - ?

I wake up today to 

a house of secrets, a chest

of silence with my legs

cold and

numb from clenching my toes tight as I

scream awake from nightmares

conjured by myself

and the lines on my hand are showing.

I wake up today to pretense

and uncertainty, I can only

figure out why I am

weak; my hair is torn from

my wrenching fingers and my heart

is drowned with the

overflowing tears that spill like

words I cannot utter.

I feel like the sheets are of

a hue unlike yesterday's,

wrapping me now in

a darker shade of 

blur,

I wake up today in a 

world I have ruined

because the lines on my hand are real.