timeless

i have deceived myself

a million times in

believing i can swallow back

the cutthroat memories

of you

i bluntly decline when they ask me to

retell my story with you

our story,

that merely betrays my words

and playback like a faulty cassette player

that skips to parts that

break me most.

behind the scenes footages

flashing moments of me

cowering in a pile of my own

debris

clutching the phone with

your last message stabbing my gut

i realize i am seizing up in miniscule fits

in the exact same position

it is cruel how one thought

trails to another

and in the blink of an eye

i physically strip and

tear from your

filthy ways of

infliction.

the bitter taste of iron in my

mouth when i

threw up blood and

poured out pain through

my eyes

for you.

i bluntly decline retelling

stories of you

while they constantly ruin

me from within

never stops.

i am a mutated piece

of permanence

violated and signed more than once

by you.

it's not going away

it's not fucking going away.

the time you walked away and i pathetically lowered myself to fit under your scale the nights i tore myself open and bled dry your

voice your

skin

your ruthless appetite

to taste me when i was

at my weakest

your laugh the

ugly sarcasm you named love and

filled me with

until i exploded

inwards.

it's not fucking going away.