bedroom

i imagine kissing other boys

knowing the taste won't be the same

they are only imaginations.

i bite my tongue until it hurts too much

to speak

and i keep my thoughts inside of me

knowing that's the best solution

my thoughts will give the world a migraine.

i try to sleep but

i can't

so i drink and

consume and pull myself

up to a different high

until i am numb to

reality

and allow dreams that have

long died

to plague my mind