she used to stand beneath gray skies
with glitter in her eyes and stars in her smile,
a round locket of happiness tight
to her chest, where no one could touch
which no one could falter,
she was the glow in the dark,
an everlasting surge of
pure joy.
there were miniscule things, yes,
that would loosen her smile, but never did she
lose her appetite for laughter
and laughter was forever in reach,
until he came plunging through her heart
with a chainsaw of rage and his
inhuman darkness broke her into
pieces of
self destruction and distrust.
there were many things that led her to
a depression that tasted like knives and
ripped like dark red wounds
but only one tipped her
too far. Until now,
she cannot recall reasons to why
she had woken up one day
with scars on her arms and the taste
of nothing
at the back of her throat.
precise images of him playing about
in the hemorrhages of her mind.
it was a desperate attempt, there after,
of searching for laughter and forcing glitter
into her eyes until she went blind
to reality,
and all the while he loomed above,
chainsaw in hand, ready
to ruin every hole in her heart
he pretentiously tried to show
he could heal.
and then he was gone.
but she was here, still,
searching, ploughing through memories
of a long gone euphoria,
when she used to wake up to a small piece of heaven.
and she is still here,
no more glitters in her eyes
newfound chills in her smile,
trying to find perfect excuses to fit
a shattered locket of what was once -
to reason out why she is now this way.
everythingbuthimeverythingbuthim
because he is the one memory
she wants to forget, but the one memory
unforgettable,
and she denies, how one memory is sometimes
all you need, enough to burn
brighter than the sun
and make her as gray as the skies
that once bowed to her shine.
