urges

lava coursing through my veins
like fiery avalanche
i am splitting apart
peeling
from the inside out
you can see it by the way my fingers clench
and tremble every time i close my eyes
i rage mountains
fury
sea of torment in the full of my mind
where dreams once painted
a longingly blue sky
you are so desperately trying to
hold between your fingers
because you are determined to keep me shining.

it is times like these
when i try to breathe you in
but i am getting in all the wrong signals
when i scatter into frantic
helpless pieces
and i feel unworthy of attachment
to every morsel
of a world that detaches from every morsel
of me.

i feel violent inside
a suicidal tendency tickles beneath my skin
as i reach towards the dark
when the light begins to
hurt my eyes.

i blame myself over & over
as wish for the pain to bury under
like secrets that will soon be forgotten
in the mind of the world.