when fingers touch

i.

you are beautiful
because you tell me i am everything
when i feel like i am
not enough.

i have gone rusty with
poems i write smiling
and feel new to poetry
of a heart that has truly
found its place
in the hand of another.

"you are beautiful"
you whisper as you teach me
how to listen to the million other words
buried beneath
and i realize there is no harm
in loving myself
because to love myself
is loving you.


ii.

the way we write poems to each other in the same dark room and joke about the littlest things the way you imitate movie characters the way we sing our favourite songs and can't stand tickles the way we blend into the background of our minds because we are our own lives and moan about our days but love them anyway the way we can sit at food stalls for hours and know when to leave because our eyes speak words that need no sound the way you lift me up in your world and help me learn to fly and embrace my flaws and protect my fears the way you forget yourself and i remind you because we are each other's importances the way your legs fold nicely between mine your hair in my face my lips on your neck your kiss on my back my finger on your eyelashes the way i leave my smell on your pillow and yours on my skin the way the world can crumble and we still smile the way i get scared and you make me brave because you remind me i am whole the way our body heat create electric


iii.

i have had countless dreams of a figure
at the blur of a distance
as i stumbled and raged wars
with pain and distorted reflections

a figure who never strayed
and watched as i pulled away from the world
convincing myself to accept loneliness
though you were a figure
that was never, ever
too far to reach

until the day our fingers touched
and you whispered a way
to stop our hearts from beating
hurt
and pulled me back into a world
i had made disappear
and opened my eyes
to a dream that had always held true
because i'd spent too long battling my wars
blind to your hand reaching
for mine
to teach me what strength was


iv.

the way you cringe in embarassment when you stumble on words and watch videos of your college years the way you can tell when i can't sleep and massage my ear and scratch my back and kiss my cheek neck nose lips until i do and i wake you up because you are sleeptalking the way we share cigarettes and food and i wear your shirt and shorts and feel like i am you the way we can talk about nothing and everything and feel at ease the movie marathons roadtrips music life the way we know each other inside out the way you are always going to be my best friend the way our breath synchronizes their pace as we lie tangled in sheets the way my head rests close to your heartbeat and i feel at peace the way my dad can see the smile in our eyes when we are together the way we touch the way we hold hands and dream and laugh and love

together.


v.

and a million words cannot describe
the immaculate feeling of being
you and me
after all the
pain and
timeless wishing

and these words will never
show the world
just how precious your heart is
and i am scared to hold it in my hands
but brave because in your hands
is mine.


vi.

love.


is no longer strange.