breathing

the pain recollects behind my eyes

and waste away;

frozen tears for somebody undeserving

of the extent

of intense emotions i puke out

for you.

i read poetry similar to mine

and feel the sharp of your memory

stick into places tender from

abandonment;

a heart i refused to touch

ever since you failed to fix

but succeeded in tearing it

into a project of your own;

lungs i have forgotten to care for

but merely fill with choked up

feelings clinging to smoke and

filth.

i intended to numb the bitter wounds

ripping apart with every breath

but the sickly cluster of your

shameless words and

everything else i swallowed

still burn me like

a rotten carcass.

there are still days when i ponder on

alternatives

to this mess i built as

protection,

and figure out

no matter what i choose

i am still

already gone.

and so are you.