drawing smiles

there, a girl sits

with a pen in her left arm because she tries

to feel different

she has smiley faces on her arm

well, she draws herself smiles and

pretends she is happy

she covers her head with her hands

and tries to see the world when

her eyes are shut

but she still sees a knotted blur

of what she used to

know by heart

there, a girl sits

and writes poetry

singing songs she used to love but

feels nothing towards them, really

now,

she looks at the smiley faces

and tries an attempt

knowing she's been trying to hard

to draw smiles on her face

to pretend she's happy