Rewind

When he asked me if I loved him,
I should've said "Not anymore."
But I keep saying "Yes, I do."
Because fuck yes, I do.

When he said there's no hope for us,
I should've nodded,
But I kept begging him to change his mind.

When he told me not to -,
I should've said, "Fine."
But I kept going, "I want to because you
want it that way."

When he asked me if I was trying to ruin us,
I should've said "Yes I am."
But I kept crying "No I didn't mean any harm."

& "I won't do what you don't like anymore."

When he did not message,
I should've done the same,
But I kept saying "I miss you"
because I did.

When he wanted to know what I was doing,
I should've said "It's not your business."
But I kept telling him everything.

When they told me "He's not worth the fight."
I should've said, "Yes, you're right."
But I kept crying nights over the things he did.

When he made mistakes,
I should've walked away,
But I kept believing in him
But I kept promising him

& I am still here.

When he asked me to promise him millions,
I should've crossed my fingers,
But I gave him my word and all my heart.

When his friends said I was wasting his time,
I should've said "They are right."
But I kept proving them wrong.

When he wondered why I couldn't say I love him,
I should've said, "Because I don't."
But instead I said, "I need time."

When he asked me to be his,
I should've said "No."
But I said, "Yes."

When they told me he could make me happy,
I should've said "I don't think so."
But I smiled and agreed.

I should've lied from the start.