after the longest time of self-repair.

life can sometimes be like sunlight through tinted glass,

tamed and made to look easy to handle

until the full scorch when you turn its direction.

but once you capture the blinding truth once,

you'll never shake off the worry of looking back unintentionally

turning the world around you black with the intensity of

repeating the same mistakes.

there are days with you when my eyes are burnt

and i live in shadows.

i will sit and shake my mind and

constantly remind myself that i should never be afraid

of the fire inside me

because my independence to stand my ground

is not a flaw

no matter how sometimes it feels like it is

with you,

and i am better than waiting for your reassurance to tell me i am worth more than i sometimes feel.

i need to embrace that sometimes

i am not what you need

and it's what i do that you seek from me

but it's alright if i cannot give you everything

because i try.

i need to stop momentary fury

from making me reach out to you to fix us

when you need me to

dim the shine to fix yourself.

and i try to pave easier paths for you, for us,

every other day,

but the cracks on the ground are getting wider

with the thought that you cannot see the struggle within me

because of your own struggles

but i will cherish that you are more important

than my own imperfections so

i need to stop momentary impulse washing over the realm of peace i build for us because in there lies no place for my pain anymore.