contortion

there are no expressions to express
no descriptions to describe
to despise to resent to hate
the way you stuff silence down my throat
and regurgitate out false acclaims
of obedience.

you scrutinize me under
microscopic perspective
but you miss out the fundamental
emotions
because i have become accustomed
to hiding them well
so you scrutinize a blank sheet of
human remains
without ever understanding
who i am.

i find satisfaction now
in tearing up things that mean a lot to you
and mean a lot to me - supposedly
but i don't feel as easily now
used to slapping concrete on my heart
and i am less prone to getting hurt the way
i can make you hurt

you've forgotten what
i've seen what
i've been and how long
i have dwelled in the dark

i am used to immorality
so what you feed me is nothing short of
normality

you are trying to pull me back
to sanity
but doing it all wrong

one day you will crack and
go insane
and i will be free