bitter tunes

your double vision is clear and

your breath is heavy

with trying not to tear apart

i am trying not to tear apart.

it is not just a song that

threatens my heartbeat

but the thousand memories scraping at me

until i bleed inside and i can

taste the iron on my lips from when i

licked my self-inflicted wounds

to escape that night.

your eyes are burning and

your lips are dry

from keeping in desperate chokes

i am trying not to choke on

my tears

the tears that no longer show but

they are always there

on the tip of my eyelashes and

in a place where my heart cannot find.

it is not just a song that reminds me of you

it is not just a song that reminds me of

how much i hurt

there was a time when my mind died and

the song was playing like the soundtrack of

last seconds

i am the reminder of all that haunts me

everyday.