rape

there was a time when i scraped out my heart
and placed it on a platter
learning through pain
to serve it cold for someone undeserving

it broke me into a million empty shards of
dead and unreflective glass

there was also a time i realized
i am the underserving one
staring at a heart served warm
and coiling backwards
incapable of holding its beat

the feeling of gut-sucking guilt
hurts like a million knives cutting into my eyelids
making shapes on the thin of my eyes