resurface.

there are no days to waste now

as the stones plummet from the cliffhanger

i have amounted to

i am close to gravity again

this freefall is the quick way for

hearts to stop

but

these things were not meant to happen.

the sky was not meant to churn its clouds so freely

over my head when there is

dry static in my mouth and the words evaporate before they leave my lips

striking back down, sharp and fierce

white flash.

these things were not meant to happen

i was not meant to learn through love

that it was something i lack

not because my love is always out of my hands

but because love was never mine to keep at all

—

realised my place in the folds of time

making do with the days i was unexpectedly

given to live,

days too young, days too old

to be timeless is really not

some kind of precious

i once thought it was,

in understanding you, i can

understand what is precious is timeless action

not timeless being.

immortality does not fit in this

unsmiling world, still and ungiving.

the world can only learn to smile

through our infinite perpetual motions

we leave behind.

—

come clean.

there is no dirt under her fingernails tonight

only the edges carved from the words that now

lash out at spaces where the only truth

left to draw is the blood that flows within the spaces

where unwanted anchors have lifted.

i lunge forward from the weightless impact

forgetting gravity in this moment

when i touch the love i left buried under the debris

of this little mess that had built around us over time

i cannot walk over this little mess

a little universe i can no longer abandon to

non-existence for it is not mine

to leave behind

what remains in place

but what i can carry i will take from it

to coexist with the worlds i never intended to build

in my lifetime.

—

this is the deadweight of

the tears that never reached the surface

this is how it feels to be struck

stinging and choked, so far from the fresh air

that rushed from our earthly strains

when we understand how fiercely

we can choose to love

the only war here

is the stand we hold

against the currents that divide

the universe that moulded itself

together for our existence

hastily trying to pull us into

the drowning sea of misdirection

i once realised that there is no secret to the formula of i,

or you

therefore does not become more impossible

if we are many

it does not make me a better person

to know your pain and where it hides

and will not teach me to love more than i already could

and will not make me more of an honest being

it will not heal the wounds dug out for your

safe keeping

for those wounds have healed and hardened

i only have to realise this

like i did once.

knowing how it feels to be you

doesn’t make it better

but choosing to ignore it

can only make it worse

i made a promise

and this is simply to not become

like the rest of the faceless world

x