there are no days to waste now
as the stones plummet from the cliffhanger
i have amounted to
i am close to gravity again
this freefall is the quick way for
hearts to stop
but
these things were not meant to happen.
the sky was not meant to churn its clouds
so freely
over my head when there is
dry static in my mouth and the words
evaporate before they leave my lips
striking back down, sharp and fierce
white flash.
these things were not meant to happen
i was not meant to learn through love
that it was something i lack
not because my love is always out of my
hands
but because love was never mine to keep at
all
—
realised my place in the folds of time
making do with the days i was unexpectedly
given to live,
days too young, days too old
to be timeless is really not
some kind of precious
i once thought it was,
in understanding you, i can
understand what is precious is timeless
action
not timeless being.
immortality does not fit in this
unsmiling world, still and ungiving.
the world can only learn to smile
through our infinite perpetual motions
we leave behind.
—
come clean.
there is no dirt under her fingernails
tonight
only the edges carved from the words that
now
lash out at spaces where the only truth
left to draw is the blood that flows within
the spaces
where unwanted anchors have lifted.
i lunge forward from the weightless impact
forgetting gravity in this moment
when i touch the love i left buried under
the debris
of this little mess that had built around
us over time
i cannot walk over this little mess
a little universe i can no longer abandon
to
non-existence for it is not mine
to leave behind
what remains in place
but what i can carry i will take from it
to coexist with the worlds i never intended
to build
in my lifetime.
—
this is the deadweight of
the tears that never reached the surface
this is how it feels to be struck
stinging and choked, so far from the fresh
air
that rushed from our earthly strains
when we understand how fiercely
we can choose to love
the only war here
is the stand we hold
against the currents that divide
the universe that moulded itself
together for our existence
hastily trying to pull us into
the drowning sea of misdirection
i once realised that there is no secret to
the formula of i,
or you
therefore does not become more impossible
if we are many
it does not make me a better person
to know your pain and where it hides
and will not teach me to love more than i
already could
and will not make me more of an honest
being
it will not heal the wounds dug out for
your
safe keeping
for those wounds have healed and hardened
i only have to realise this
like i did once.
knowing how it feels to be you
doesn’t make it better
but choosing to ignore it
can only make it worse
i made a promise
and this is simply to not become
like the rest of the faceless world
x
