her day.

today, i miss you

not for your significance worth celebrating

but the outcome of today filled with

insignificance,

where you are hiding in the dark

and i cannot reach you.

i did not reach you,

and though there is a deliberate motif 

in this new reluctance,

i refuse to feel guilty anymore

for being too exhausted to try

because no guilt or regret

can make the dim light surrounding you

shine any brighter.

but it does not stop the sadness from washing in.

it is a reality i have to learn

to come to terms with;

this light that surrounds you

is not ours to hold 

for we have long been cast from it,

and no matter how brightly

it shines on certain days of the week,

you will always find a way to 

hide yourself within its shadows

but i cannot walk you into the dark of it any longer.

today, i miss you,

and it is a reality i have to learn

to face,

where we do not live in parallel spaces anymore

so i have to learn to appreciate you more

you in your past, your pained present and whoever you may become.

today, i miss you,

and this will be a new permanence,

but i will forever hold this eternal bond with you

on a mindful pedestal

for though you are slowly

becoming one with the dark,

i will shine my brightest light strong and glorious,

forever in your honor.