noir

my ears are mute
choked in by nothingnothingnothing
but the sound of my thoughts
coursing down my throat
musky and warm and
piercing through my ribs

i am bare
for all to see
scorching bitterness surrounds my skin
and my senses are numb

there are storms in my fingers
and thunder in my guts
my dreams escape
clawing out through my eyelids
scratching through my eyelashes
and freeze into permanence

memories i once painted
on the hush of the night
release into a choir of
colourless screams

crushcrumplecrispcold
no longer afraid
because every black hue
is a shade of comfort.

which way is it

these are personal shadows
formed by flashing weights
above my eyelids;
heavy and half-open,
as i slide into a netherworld
to stop the pain from seeping in
and dive through my layers of emotion
escaping light.

i have been accustomed to
the sense of black for
far too long
caught up in the dark like an
addiction
and i am numb to
every motion around me
except those that remind me of you
and every pain we have plucked out
to keep for the future -

- now.

those bright lights
blinding my sanity
drowning my thoughts
until i can no longer
say i am feeling alright.

my permanence is what drains me.

control

I reach for capsules in the sky
to swallow them whole
before they disintegrate
and poison the hues of the night,
as splinters of a song
caressing the breath of every wind,
latch upon my lips
and pull for a teardrop.

Weaving in
out
in out in
out into my mind,
substantializing my thoughts
between the fluctuating shades of my shadow,
as I walk towards a hollow light,
faceless and
deceitful.

My words have turned
monochromatic and
dry like ash,
plaguing my chest
to the tip of my oesophagusimchoking.


I wonder how it'd feel like
to live without a world of collision inside me.