natural disasters ii

and again;
sitting with time ticking my nerves.

my fists clench and
relax
to the steady pace
ticking me down to
the urge to lash
out
like the every vigorous brush of wind
that empowers my lungs
and freezes my emotions.

take me and teach me to be
as violent as the moodswings of a sky
where no gods linger.

and again;
i am surrounded by four walls and background.

i try to blend into the tiles
into the couches
into the loose hem of the curtains
so i could be equally objective
and utterly expressionless
but living
is never as easy as being
non-existent.

take me and teach me to be
inanimate
so everything hurts less
when i am thrown about by fate.

there are cockroaches that slither after me
through the course of my days
but as much as i run from what i fear
i can never run from the knots of my mind
where i am caught - alone and flickering out.

i am as destructive
as natural disasters
where the icebergs of my thoughts
crumble and expand
until they are all above surface
unable to escape the scorch
of a sky when it rages red.

take me and teach me to be
unbreakable
so the skies above will never
melt my conscience and thaw my emotions
until they disintegrate with the changing seasons.