luminous

My lips have held a million unspoken words

and a taste of pain

slithering through my throat

teaching me how to control my breathing.

I have suffered a sunrise that burnt through my eyelids

and surged to my heart like a

runaway train with nowhere to crash,

a gaping hole

.nicotine

i denied the way my hands felt like

dry leaves

how the veins on my neck ached from screaming

and attempting to swallow light

to make myself believe i can be

fluorescent like swimming

pools and happiness

when all this while

i was nothing but

a forgotten street lamp

on the brink of life,

too bright to look at

but burnt black inside.