like a tear

one.

i was once told i have a thousand faces

so i try to have a million personalities

in order to distract them

from noticing

the one permanent feeling i can never change;

the one lump of frozen emotion at the pit of my heart

weighing me down and

painfullyslowly

digging open a hole i once

managed to heal with

ice and solidity.

it is an uncanny feeling

at the tip of my stare

as they walk past me hand in hand

like a monochromatic thought. Without

a care in the world, their happiness

drowned me

with questions as to

why

i never could keep the life of such smiles

in between our hands,

before, when i had all the care

in the universe

to try.

two.

i am aware of a self-wounded tangle

i dwell between

but it is a comfortably

numbing realization

that no one else but i

can create such an extent of pain

to myself, now.

i am my own freedom

i am my own cage

there are sleepless nights

etched beneath my eyelids and

torture streaked across the way i

stare at spots for too long

every other ten seconds.

three.

i conjure with every blink of my eye

an artwork of pain

and it becomes more vivid

and much more tasteless

with every exhausted breath:

faded memories of a face familiar

who once stuffed so much into her heart

she forgot how to exert

the glow on her cheeks and sparkles from

her pupils that would

trickle down from

the deepest feeling within her

like a tear.