Beautiful Shapes

I look at you through
the blinds of a fork, unaware,
always, of the reasons
why you look left
when I look right,
I spend hours awake missing your voice
touchkissyouyou,
thinking of moments when I kissed your
forehead as you cried
my tears and sobbed
my pain,
yet I clamp shut and
withdraw from the world you
beautify me in like
the way I want you to,
because I remember moments when you
clasped me in your
palm
and did not let me go until I was
helpless
selfless.

I look at you, upside down,
through the eye of a spoon
seeing all of me
because you are nothing
like me,
I miss your fingers,
the laughter you hurl
from my stomach,
the cigarette aftertaste
on your tongue
I miss the way you'd tickle me until I was
breathless, to breathe into me when we kiss,
the heart shapes you'd draw on my face before trying to stick your
finger up my nose,
I miss the way we'd switch gender
in the middle of a shopping mall,
your lips on my eyelids,
your hand in mine,
I miss the way you make me feel

Words, just words
Words I couldn't say when you'd
told me you missed me.