There is a weight that sits tightly against my chest,
Like tyres on the dry of a road,
Glasses unbalanced on a tray
Or the weight of our bodies
Waning the beds we sleep on.
It is the weight of
Counting every breath he takes before he falls asleep
Like second nature, watching his eyes
Drift a thousand miles when he is
Vulnerable, the weight of
words that left our lips, or
Remained untouched in our thoughts
Wearing us down,
Like the episodes of a favourite show
we have left unregarded
and the splash of night looming over
a thin line of dusk.
It is the weight of unfamiliar feelings
And familiar worries
Creeping into our dreams as we sleep
To greet us at our wake.
It is the hunch of what could possibly leave us stale, or make us
Invincible.
You know you are meant for somebody
When you do not predict what the next steps are, when with pure love at its happiest
comes a string of negatives,
And situations you face are
Uncontrollable and breathtakingly
Overwhelming.
Everything is not the same
Because fresh air never hits twice.
There is a weight that sits
Neatly in my mind,
Of things I can never fix
Like the ache in my ribs and my self inflicted paranoia,
The weight of things that I learn to
Accept, like our pasts and
Our present flaws that comes
naturally with every life that is tangible.
It is the weight of emotions that have
Accumulated from extremities,
Stretched and compressed
Into a bulb of intensity,
The weight of our passion seeping into each other and sometimes
Going straight past what our eyes can contrive.
It is the weight of looking forward to the times
When everything sits firmly
And strongly
In the best of places
Like the hint of his smile and the warmth
Of his breath on my skin.
This weight is what fills a soul
As longing as mine,
Like my head when it rests on the dent
In his shoulders,
Or his hand on the curve of my chest
as I curl in.
Without it, I will only be empty,
hollow, opaque.
So I learn to embrace the world
At its heaviest,
As it settles on my shoulders
Only hoping it balances out
Eventually..
And for the meantime,
I guess I could always shift the weight
Like backpacks and guitar cases,
Until I find a the place it will
Rightfully belong to,
Just like the way I have found my place
Rightfully beside you.
