mask

i am shaking like an earthquake
a hundred years away
falling like a suicide
off the high end

wherever i land will be
wherever i decay
and my fingers are clawing, clawing
clawing again

ten thousand emotions
but not one significant enough
and i am shaking, shaking
shaking away all the bad thoughts
and all the bad dreams
all the bad thoughts
all the bad dreams
but they stay
they stay
they rise and balance on the pit of my mind
where i was dumped with a large pile of
ragged hope and misled directions
where do i go
where do i stop
where do i start
where do i look

i am shaking
shaking like an earthquake
seconds away
and i cannot find the reason
to what got me here in the first place
where did i stumble
where did i crumble
the scar from the past
the black of it all
the hurt from it all
the pain the hate the pure shit

it's all coming back
it's all coming back
stale and tainted
i cannot fucking do any better
can't fucking do any better
i am stumbling
and crumbling
again.

stop me before i hit the bottom
because i am sick of climbing back up
just to breathe again.

char

the screeching in my ears
from the emission of the TV
on the other side of the room
is muted and thick
and i feel like i am
drowning underwater.

i cannot even tell if the frequencies are
shattering my insides
i cannot tell if this is pain
it is one of those nights
where every minute expands
and every touch is numb
and every thought is
set aside to collect dust
making room for the nonsensical foreplay of my mind
to tease its way
into my centered conscience
until i break apart
and feel
ashamed
for being weak
disgusted
for being out of self control
again.

it is one of those nights.


-------------------

relief.

The Realm of Bewilderment: Poems in Podcast

Hello musers,

I present to you two of my poems featured in my friend's independent podcast.

The Zone of Bewilderment 4

In it features 'I Can Hear Them Flutter' and 'The Figure in the Fog' which Rylan has so kindly added music to. :)

Happy listening, some nice tunes on there as well!