heavings of a screaming heart

three lines down the page expressing
certain miniscule actions
that replace colossal pieces of my life
and scare me to think of choices

i blink away the blurred visions of dandelions
flying askew, crashing hard onto the surface of my cheek
burning me with a thousand unanswered thoughts
because chances are,
i never notice the way i move
in my sleep compared to a time
when i lay still and curved
inwards
eyes blank wide distant.

and the burden of different lives i could've lived
stand tiptoed on my shoulder blades
piercing through my physicality and
pulling down my mind

an orchestral mass of confusion and
terror
creating the notes to a suicide song